Tears...

Well, we left the apartment shortly after eight this morning and we realized very quickly that it was going to be a bit tricky getting to the Medical Arts Building by nine. There was so much snow on the streets that those little cars with the front wheel drive just couldn't get anywhere. A couple of times we had to go around the block because of a stuck vehicle. Well, we finally made it shortly after nine and walked into a locked door. A few minutes later the nurse came flying out of the elevator with a giggle, "You waiting for me?"

She quickly unlocked the office and we followed her in. We sat down and she began rustling with a bag behind her desk and with a smile she said "My socks are sopping wet, good thing I brought another pair with!" she continued with a shake of her head, "My bus was so late!"

We understood that completely, the roads were a mess. Well, shortly after ten the phone rang and we were told that the doctor was on his way.

Another twenty minutes past before he came through the door. He didn't waste too much time, throwing off his jacket and meeting with his nurse for a few minutes before he called Wes in.

Just over an hour later they came out and a few last instructions and the doctor quickly went back to work. By now the waiting room was standing room only. I stepped around people inside this tiny waiting room and moved to stand beside Wes at the desk as the nurse was filling out more paper work. Another blood test was needed before we left and photocopies of the doctor's report to MPIC and then the nurse gave us the bill for the visit.

Wes told her that he would run down to the ATM to get cash and before he ran out he smiled and whispered in my ear. "Dr. Gomori wanted to meet you! But, I guess he couldn't take the time when he saw how many people were waiting for him" And off he ran.

I could tell by Wes' face that things had gone well and by the few things I had been able to glance at on the paper work it all looked very positive, but I kept wondering 'Why in the world would the doctor want to meet me?'

Wes came back a few minutes later with the money and after some cheery chitchat with the nurse and her wishing us a safe trip home we walked out the doors and straight down to get Wes' blood test done.

We had barely sat down and Wes' number was called and off we were again. No time to talk. We finally got into the vehicle and quickly exited the building. The roads were so bad that we didn't talk until we were on a main thoroughfare that made for easier driving. Now to find the MPIC building. We found it but missed our turn off and thought we would just go around the block, but as we turned the corner there was a Pepsi truck stuck at an angle across the entire street. OK, now I'm really tired of this snow. My feet were sopping wet and frozen and had been that way all morning, trucking through knee high snow drifts on the streets will do that to you. Yeah, yeah, I know, why was I wearing my cute Maryjane's instead of a nifty pair of mukluks. You don't have to say anything because I already heard it all from Wes! This included the usual lecture on the benefits of long johns in this frigid weather...whatever...

A few minutes later we arrived at MPIC and we made our way around the building to the main entrance. The minute we walked in the security guard, an older gentleman, called us over and asked who we were looking for. Wes explained that we had just seen the doctor and we had our papers filled out and ready to be handed in if he could just show us where we should do that.

"Well, you go up the stairs turn right, then you turn right again. It's room 206. My advice to you young man would be to hurry right on up there and get rid of that paper work so you can take this lovely young lady out for lunch!" He turned to me with a wink.

I hit Wes in the arm "See, I told you I looked hungry, let's hurry!"

We all laughed and we both thanked him as we ran up the stairs. A few minutes later, our important papers delivered safely to the right person we walked past the guard who waved and shouted after us to have a wonderful day!

As we trudged back to the vehicle through the deep snow I finally had a chance to ask Wes why Dr. Gomori wanted to meet me.

"Well, he was asking me what the symptoms had been to indicate that there were problems and I told him how it all started. He said he was surprised that I would have caught on that something was wrong and that letter that you wrote to Dr. Booy saved my life." I had nothing to say because I had not looked at it that way and to be honest it bothered me to even think of it in that respect. So, I changed the subject by asking what kind of testing the doctor had done.

Most of it, Wes told me, was reflexes and then a lot of conversation which Wes thought was probably part of the testing and partly to keep him relaxed. He had carefully examined Wes' eyes, particularly the left side which is the side the tumor is located.

"He was looking there for a long time, I wonder what he could see." Wes didn't wait for an answer but kept talking "He was a really polite gentleman, so easy to talk too and he really wanted to meet you." Wes kept talking about the appointment the whole time we were driving and we ended up at Monarch in Winnipeg. He wanted to drop in there so that he could let his boss know how things had gone. I stayed in the vehicle knowing it would be a long wait, but I was OK with that. I needed to be alone to absorb everything again. It seems that that is what you do when you are on a journey in this life with God. You absorb and absorb until you think you can't absorb anymore of how powerful God is. And when you've absorbed more than you can handle the tears flow freely so that you can begin to absorb all over again.

I think the enormity of the situation hit me as I sat in the Blazer waiting, plus the texts I had received from people who were concerned just became too overwhelming and the tears came and just wouldn't stop. The tears turned into sobs and as the snow swirled around the vehicle God and I had a long talk, actually I did not do a lot of talking because I didn't know what to say, it seemed I just needed to sit with him and be quiet. His presence was so real, I can understand when David said,

"Thank you! Everything in me says "Thank you!" Angels listen as I sing my thanks. I kneel in worship facing your holy temple and say it again: "Thank you!" Thank you for your love, thank you for your faithfulness; Most holy is your name, most holy is your Word. The moment I called out, you stepped in; you made my life large with strength." Psalm 138:1

It seems that within this journey that we have been travelling with God, He has always gone ahead of us and prepared the way. How do you thank God for everything, anything, so many things?

Finally an hour later Wes came back to the vehicle and he could tell that I had been crying.

"Why are you crying?"

"Don't ask me right now, it will just get me started all over again. Besides, I don't think I could explain it even if I wanted too." I tried to smile as I wiped the tears out from under my sunglasses.

Later on when we were leaving Winnipeg Wes politely asked again why I was crying...oh yeah, I forgot to mention the tears started again on the way out of the city.

"I'm so exhausted and I don't know how to react anymore to how much people care. Your doing so well and we know that is only because people are praying."

"Well, it's like Mr. Wiebe, Walt's dad, said to me last weekend at Heidi's grad recital. Remember?" I nodded sniffing. "He said that years ago Dr. C. W. Wiebe had always said that the doctor removes whatever sickness he can, but it's God who does the healing."

It seems so simple doesn't it...yet, nothing God does is simple and everything he does deserves honor and recognition...so I'll ask again "How in the world do you say 'thanks' ?" Sometimes saying nothing at all, being still and just knowing, feeling & believing in His presence is all He asks.

"You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book." Psalm 56:8