In All Honesty

A couple of Saturday’s ago  Nic & I were working in the shop cleaning and organizing and I had a little helper by my side, my granddaughter Blaique.  She faithfully ran back and forth throwing things in the garbage or she had her rag and was wiping down oil containers and tools for me.  She loved being a helper in Papa’s shop.  We worked and chatted.  As I walked toward the back of the shop I could hear her little shoes coming behind me as she followed me to the table.  I reached for another tool and as I picked it up I heard her softly say, “I miss papa!”  I put down the piece I was holding and turned to her.  Her big beautiful eyes displayed such sadness.   How do I comfort her?  By being honest.

“I really miss Papa too!” I said.  

She wouldn’t take her eyes off of me.  “I wish I could go to Heaven to see him.”  She said quietly.

"Me too!  He was a good Papa wasn’t he?”  

“Yeah” her head dropped a bit and the rag she was holding fell to her side, “He was funny!”

“He was funny wasn’t he?” I could feel my self-control slipping.  She heard it in my voice and looked up.

“He was fun!” she said smiling, I think maybe trying to cheer me up.

“Yeah, he was so much fun!  He liked to tease do you remember?” I said and she giggled a bit as if she was indeed remembering something.

This was not the time to worry about organizing tools, this little girl needed to talk.  We walked back to the snowmobile trailer that was parked in the shop so we could do just that.

“Papa died right?” she asked

“Yes, he did”

“And now he’s in Heaven”

Yes, he is.”  I confirmed for her.

We talked for quite a while, she had questions and I listened or offered answers when she needed me too.  I shared with her about Papa’s faith and why we knew he was in Heaven.  I explained that Papa had asked Jesus into his heart a long long time ago and it was because of that decision that we know he’s now safe in Heaven.  Standing there in her bright pink jacket that was now badly smudged with greasy dust from Papa’s tools, her hands twisting the little rag in her hand she was paying attention to every word.  She needed this moment, a small moment of my time to share her grief.
And above all she was being honest about her pain, about the fact that she really misses her papa. 

My niece Tamara sent me a message the other night about her son Dawson.  She shared that she loves how sometimes Dawson will still pray for Uncle Wes.  However, the other day she mentioned that his prayer was a little different.  His words displayed a little sassiness toward the end of his prayer and it went something like this;

“I pray for all the sick people. And God, if I can’t pray for Uncle Wes to get better anymore, I hope he’s at least having fun up in heaven with you!”

I can hear him saying it with a little bit of attitude, but you know what? Dawson was simply being honest with God.  We have a lot to learn from children.  

Why is it that as adults we don’t like being honest with God?  We don’t want to tell him that we’re not happy with how things turned out, that we’re frustrated, lonely or even scared.  We don’t tell him because we believe that we’re being disrespectful to him if we do.  Well, considering he already knows what’s going on in our heart whether we’re angry or sad we’re only fooling ourselves into believing that we’re hiding those feelings from him and we’re not trusting that he can handle us being completely straightforward with him.  So then if God does not respond to our anger or hurt by turning his back on us why aren't we totally honest with him?  Why can’t we get our feelings out there and find freedom through an open and honest conversation with him?

This past Sunday Dan challenged us to be more confident in our relationship with God.  He explained that often we question whether God is still ok with us even when we mess up. 

He reminded us that because of Jesus, we have become completely right with God.  Completely!

He said, “When we learn to accept just how completely and fully we have been reconciled with God because of Jesus, we will stop worrying about whether we’re good with God, and start focusing on our relationships with each other.”

This was such a wonderful reminder that no matter how we much we mess up God is still in relationship with us.  He hasn’t turned his back on us.

On the drive home today I was listening to a song with lyrics that speak this exact same truth.  Actually I listened to it over and over because that’s what I do when I fall in love with a song.

So, the next time you wonder if you and God are ok?  Just remember that moment when you asked Jesus into your heart, that’s the moment you became completely right with God!  No matter what!

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.  John 8:36