News...
Friday the 13th...sounds ominous doesn't it? Although I'm not superstitious in the least, but it wasn't a Friday that I was looking forward to, well, sort of yes and sort of no. You know that you need to have the test results, but there's always those 'what ifs' at the back of your mind. The 'what ifs' don't rule your world, they just pop up here and there to do what? I'm not sure.
Well, we had had a great week because we had Mackenzie here for holidays. Nothing like a busy 12 - almost 13 - year old boy to keep your mind occupied. For me, that was great.
But, eventually Friday did roll around and Wes ran in with his one load for Monarch and when he came home at 10a.m. we packed up and went to the city for our 1p.m. appointment. We had lunch with Mackenzie in the city before we had to say goodbye to him and then we headed across the city to HSC to see Dr. Schroeder.
We chatted as we drove and though the traffic was heavy we made it there 20 minutes early. I filled out the regular form that asked whether he had difficulty sleeping, any headaches, nausea, depression and so on. 0 was the best and 6 was the worst. So far, every visit has earned Wes 6 0's. Right after Wes handed in the form he sat down beside me in the waiting room as two men walked in and sat down across from us. They were a bit older than us, but not by much and the one man sported the identical marking on the side of his head that Wes has which indicates the heavy rounds of radiation. No hair grows in that circular patch and this gentleman's was more obvious because he also sported a full head of dark hair.
The man with the mark was holding the clip board at arm's length trying to read the questions and the other gentleman offered to fill it out for him.
"No way!" the man replied, "If I let you fill it out I'm going to land up upstairs in the psych ward!"
We laughed with them in their lighthearted banter that went back and forth with each other. There was another gentleman and his grown son who were sitting in the waiting room as well. You could tell they were at the beginning of their journey, everything was being explained carefully, there was no laughter or smiles, just nervous fidgeting and eyes cast down on the floor. Where we now walked in and were greeted as familiar faces, these two were not feeling quite so much at home yet. The clipboard that had become so commonplace to us was studied by them with great seriousness.
Another gentleman entered with his wife. He sat down ever so carefully with his clipboard, it seemed as though his balance might be a bit off and he slowly filled it out. His numbers were all over the place. She never sat down. She paced the length of the brain tumor clinic and moved her purse from one shoulder to the next. Nervous movements...boy, I could feel the tension and fear emanating from her body. I didn't blame her...I knew what she was feeling...
We were called in the minute our clipboard hit the desk. Here we go. Wes is weighed and then we're directed into the examining room. #16 - the same as the last two times.
You walk in to the familiar surroundings. Two chairs against the wall, a desk and an office chair. An examining table, a full length mirror, torn and out of date magazines in a rack on the wall and that's what you stare at for the few minutes that you wait.
Kim, our favorite nurse, walked in. She smiles and makes small talk, points out the paper that has all the 0's on it and says "That looks great!" Asks a few questions and then with a little laugh says "I guess you're really just waiting for your MRI results aren't you?"
No need to answer that. We just thank her and wish her a good afternoon. After she leaves, the room goes silent and I fidget a bit before we start some small talk to pass the time. We laugh and talk about our week with Mackenzie and soon a young doctor walks in. I know right away that this will be an intern, we've seen a few of them and that's just fine. He shakes Wes' hand and goes through his papers, pointing out the 0's and with a smile says, "That's great!"
He then explains that the MRI that Wes had on Monday was done on a brand new machine. Wes had told me that there was a new machine so I was prepared for that. I also knew what that could mean and the doctor began to explain exactly what we had anticipated.
"This new machine offers us a much clearer picture of the brain and the tumor that is left." he shuffled his papers a bit, "We were quite concerned that it may give us a different outcome than before. Mainly, that because the picture is so much more concise we might see growth that we might have missed."
I held my breath, that was exactly what Wes and I had both been concerned about.
Then the young man smiled, "But, there is no new growth. No changes whatsoever! Everything looks really good! I looked at the slides myself this morning with the rest of the team." he continued, "We went back through your past results again and it all lines up exactly! Everything is good!"
OK, so I have to tell you, the tears came...not in torrents, but just enough to make the young guy uncomfortable. He coughed, shuffled his papers and then looked at me with a smile. I smiled back as the tears fell.
"Thank you!" I said to him
He shuffled his papers one more time and rose to leave the room.
"Dr. Schroeder will be in shortly to talk to you." he said with another smile.
"Thank you" I said again with a bigger smile in return and he moved to leave. As he pulled Wes' full chart off of the desk he turned to walk out the door and his jacket caught on the chair and he dragged the chair to the door. We tried not to laugh., but that was really hard especially when he didn't want to look in our direction and he couldn't free his jacket quite as quickly as he would have liked. He finally pulled it free, turned with a shy grin and a shrug of his shoulders and walked out. God often gives us something to giggle about in that place!
We both breathed a sigh of relief when he had left.
Two minutes later Dr. Schroeder walked in. No pomp and circumstance, but with his crooked grin and with absoutely no greetings whatsoever (which we have come to expect from him) he looks at Wes and says, "You're good!" (Meaning that the MRI was good) then he looked at Wes' Black Hills shirt. "Hey, did you guys go to Black Hills?" and the rest of the appointment was discussing the beauty of the Badlands and Mt. Rushmore.
The two doctors left after confirming that we go back in three months again...it was hard to walk out of the office without a silly grin on my face and I quickly wiped the tears off my cheeks. We walked past the desk where another person was picking up their clipboard and the father and son were still waiting with eyes still downcast. For so many a new beginning, for some they are much farther along. And us? Well, I think we're somewhere in the middle. I looked around the waiting room, so many lives touched, destroyed, confused, and forever changed by a brain tumor of some sort. And as we continued on, it felt as though we were walking through a battle zone with many wounded and scarred. It would have felt disrespectful to those in the heat of their own private battles to have expressed outward joy. So, I simply took Wes' hand and we waited to talk about our exciting news until we were in the parkade.
"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones." Proverbs 15:30
Well, we had had a great week because we had Mackenzie here for holidays. Nothing like a busy 12 - almost 13 - year old boy to keep your mind occupied. For me, that was great.
But, eventually Friday did roll around and Wes ran in with his one load for Monarch and when he came home at 10a.m. we packed up and went to the city for our 1p.m. appointment. We had lunch with Mackenzie in the city before we had to say goodbye to him and then we headed across the city to HSC to see Dr. Schroeder.
We chatted as we drove and though the traffic was heavy we made it there 20 minutes early. I filled out the regular form that asked whether he had difficulty sleeping, any headaches, nausea, depression and so on. 0 was the best and 6 was the worst. So far, every visit has earned Wes 6 0's. Right after Wes handed in the form he sat down beside me in the waiting room as two men walked in and sat down across from us. They were a bit older than us, but not by much and the one man sported the identical marking on the side of his head that Wes has which indicates the heavy rounds of radiation. No hair grows in that circular patch and this gentleman's was more obvious because he also sported a full head of dark hair.
The man with the mark was holding the clip board at arm's length trying to read the questions and the other gentleman offered to fill it out for him.
"No way!" the man replied, "If I let you fill it out I'm going to land up upstairs in the psych ward!"
We laughed with them in their lighthearted banter that went back and forth with each other. There was another gentleman and his grown son who were sitting in the waiting room as well. You could tell they were at the beginning of their journey, everything was being explained carefully, there was no laughter or smiles, just nervous fidgeting and eyes cast down on the floor. Where we now walked in and were greeted as familiar faces, these two were not feeling quite so much at home yet. The clipboard that had become so commonplace to us was studied by them with great seriousness.
Another gentleman entered with his wife. He sat down ever so carefully with his clipboard, it seemed as though his balance might be a bit off and he slowly filled it out. His numbers were all over the place. She never sat down. She paced the length of the brain tumor clinic and moved her purse from one shoulder to the next. Nervous movements...boy, I could feel the tension and fear emanating from her body. I didn't blame her...I knew what she was feeling...
We were called in the minute our clipboard hit the desk. Here we go. Wes is weighed and then we're directed into the examining room. #16 - the same as the last two times.
You walk in to the familiar surroundings. Two chairs against the wall, a desk and an office chair. An examining table, a full length mirror, torn and out of date magazines in a rack on the wall and that's what you stare at for the few minutes that you wait.
Kim, our favorite nurse, walked in. She smiles and makes small talk, points out the paper that has all the 0's on it and says "That looks great!" Asks a few questions and then with a little laugh says "I guess you're really just waiting for your MRI results aren't you?"
No need to answer that. We just thank her and wish her a good afternoon. After she leaves, the room goes silent and I fidget a bit before we start some small talk to pass the time. We laugh and talk about our week with Mackenzie and soon a young doctor walks in. I know right away that this will be an intern, we've seen a few of them and that's just fine. He shakes Wes' hand and goes through his papers, pointing out the 0's and with a smile says, "That's great!"
He then explains that the MRI that Wes had on Monday was done on a brand new machine. Wes had told me that there was a new machine so I was prepared for that. I also knew what that could mean and the doctor began to explain exactly what we had anticipated.
"This new machine offers us a much clearer picture of the brain and the tumor that is left." he shuffled his papers a bit, "We were quite concerned that it may give us a different outcome than before. Mainly, that because the picture is so much more concise we might see growth that we might have missed."
I held my breath, that was exactly what Wes and I had both been concerned about.
Then the young man smiled, "But, there is no new growth. No changes whatsoever! Everything looks really good! I looked at the slides myself this morning with the rest of the team." he continued, "We went back through your past results again and it all lines up exactly! Everything is good!"
OK, so I have to tell you, the tears came...not in torrents, but just enough to make the young guy uncomfortable. He coughed, shuffled his papers and then looked at me with a smile. I smiled back as the tears fell.
"Thank you!" I said to him
He shuffled his papers one more time and rose to leave the room.
"Dr. Schroeder will be in shortly to talk to you." he said with another smile.
"Thank you" I said again with a bigger smile in return and he moved to leave. As he pulled Wes' full chart off of the desk he turned to walk out the door and his jacket caught on the chair and he dragged the chair to the door. We tried not to laugh., but that was really hard especially when he didn't want to look in our direction and he couldn't free his jacket quite as quickly as he would have liked. He finally pulled it free, turned with a shy grin and a shrug of his shoulders and walked out. God often gives us something to giggle about in that place!
We both breathed a sigh of relief when he had left.
Two minutes later Dr. Schroeder walked in. No pomp and circumstance, but with his crooked grin and with absoutely no greetings whatsoever (which we have come to expect from him) he looks at Wes and says, "You're good!" (Meaning that the MRI was good) then he looked at Wes' Black Hills shirt. "Hey, did you guys go to Black Hills?" and the rest of the appointment was discussing the beauty of the Badlands and Mt. Rushmore.
The two doctors left after confirming that we go back in three months again...it was hard to walk out of the office without a silly grin on my face and I quickly wiped the tears off my cheeks. We walked past the desk where another person was picking up their clipboard and the father and son were still waiting with eyes still downcast. For so many a new beginning, for some they are much farther along. And us? Well, I think we're somewhere in the middle. I looked around the waiting room, so many lives touched, destroyed, confused, and forever changed by a brain tumor of some sort. And as we continued on, it felt as though we were walking through a battle zone with many wounded and scarred. It would have felt disrespectful to those in the heat of their own private battles to have expressed outward joy. So, I simply took Wes' hand and we waited to talk about our exciting news until we were in the parkade.
"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones." Proverbs 15:30
Comments
We'll continue to pray for next round of tests. May God hold you close as you journey with Him.
- Ted & Mitch
Dinah
I read your comment to Wes and the first thing he did was laugh and say "That's who that was!" He didn't actually use the word 'nerd' there, but he had no idea if the guy was even waving at him. You must have been pretty wild with your waving - haha.
He said he hadn't recognized your vehicle either which is always his way of acknowledging people.
Thank you for your prayers Ted & Mitch - we appreciate your friendship and support so much!!
Love you lots!
Dinah