Whoopie, Menopause & Mayo

Well, now that I have your attention!

A number of weeks ago I was flipping through the TV channels on my day off and stopped to hear what the conversation was about on The View.  I only watch this show when they aren’t just talking about Trump, so that tells you how often I actually watch it!  It normally takes about 10 seconds to figure out that they are yapping about politics and so I was surprised when I realized that they were discussing menopause…hmmm, not that much more interesting than Trump, but, definitely a step up.

One of the younger women on the panel was asking Whoopie Goldberg and Joy Behar about menopause and Joy mentioned that the one thing she had loved about going through menopause was that she didn’t have to shave her legs anymore – ok, so at this point I’m pretty sure I’ve probably lost any male blog followers that I have – lol.  But, hang in there.  In my mind I’m thinking, that’s very true Joy.  One of the rare times I agree with Joy on anything.  But then Whoopie said something that has stuck with me.  She talked about how she resented not being able to shave her legs – really Whoopie I’m thinking, what’s the big deal?  She goes on to explain.  She said because it meant that she had lost control of her own body, she could no longer decide when or if she wanted to shave her legs and I thought, still not getting it. 

Today I’m sitting in Perkins after just having been at HSC again.  This time to pick up a disc that contains Wes’ MRI scans from the past two years and as soon as I’m home I’ll send them to Mayo Clinic in Rochester.  Mayo Clinic offers the same surgery that Dr. Toyota was offering.  The MRI-Guided Laser Ablation.  Mayo Clinic has been really responsive to me and I’m hoping we can have an appointment with them soon.  Anyway, back to the menopause part of the story.  The part about no control, not the part about shaving your legs.  Whoopie, I think I understand you now!

Since this whole thing started I have had professionals telling me what to do and how to do it, I’ve been bombarded with forms to fill out, arrangements to make and information to pass on.  Then recently we’ve been doing the chemo cycles and the insulin injections, checking blood sugars, waiting for phone calls, returning phone calls, contacting our diabetes doctor (who is fabulous by the way) and waiting.  Remember a blog ago I mentioned I hate waiting?!

Anyway, Whoopie’s remark has come back to haunt me because yes there are times when I am angry, not often, but sometimes it sneaks up on me.  I am angry because there are women who walk away from their husbands for whatever reason and here I am, I want to keep mine and I’m fighting with everything I have to do just that and sometimes I don’t think that’s fair.  And yes, I’m sometimes angry because I no longer have control over my own life.  I’m completely dependent on a medical system and professionals within that system that I don’t know, people that I have to put my complete trust in and that’s hard.  Sometimes I’m angry because I have to smile when I don’t feel like smiling.  Sometimes I’m angry because I’ve had to put my grand babies on the back burner.  Today little Dominic wanted to come with Grandma in her truck and I had to explain that Grandma was going to Winnipeg again.  I keep promising them soon, soon Grandma can take time for you and that makes me a little bit angry and a lot sad. 

And I’d like to say that I’ve never been angry at God, but is that true?  When you are angry over your circumstance angry that you can’t get what you want, isn’t that really anger that is quietly directed at the Father?  In scripture it says, “in your anger do not sin”  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold.

There have been times I’ve not only given the devil a foothold but I’ve given him the whole dang stepladder!

So, guess what?  Christians aren’t perfect!  We sin, we get angry, we say things we don’t mean, we hurt, we have pain.  But, the part that is so very important is that we don’t stay there, we strive to be better and we know that our Father loves us with a crazy, awesome, heart-crushing love!  My granddaughter Kinsley gave me a hug this morning, she’s a fierce hugger!  And when she does that I smile and I feel crazy loved!  That’s what God does for us.  In these moments when we are angry, sad, frustrated and tired he wraps his arms around us and squeezes for all he’s worth!

It's OK to get angry, just don't hang onto it!   Don't give the devil a foothold and above all don’t give up! 

God is still in control!

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you – Psalm 56:3