Southern Hospitality

Recently we took a road trip to North Carolina, specifically landing in Mount Airy, NC for a few days.  Besides the gorgeous scenery that surrounded us at every turn, what intrigued me the most during our time there was the people.  It did not matter if they were residents of the area or if they were fellow travelers on a journey through the area, I enjoyed all of my conversations with each of them.  Well, ok, there was that one lady that was…well, anyway, I won’t talk about that conversation.

Whether we stopped in at WalGreens to pick up sunscreen and met Sandra who worked there and who wanted to know where we were from and when she found out we were from Canada she wanted to know if she could come home with us or another conversation with a biker from Kentucky who directed us to a hidden,  little known spot on Blue Ridge Parkway that simply blew our minds.  People wanted to talk and to show us their little corner of the world and  I loved it!!

What struck me the funniest was the fact that I needed to get used to the fact that they don’t actually greet you in a fashion that we are used to.  Like “Hi” or “Good morning” or even “Hey”.  They would typically begin a conversation with, “How y’all doin’?” and I caught myself a few times back peddling because I had already said “Hi” at the same time that they said, “How y’all doing?”  I also learned that they don’t really want to hear you simply say, “I’m fine” and that was also something I enjoyed…once I got used to it.

Take for example the woman who was sitting outside of Mabry Mill on a bench under a tree in front of the restaurant.  We were walking past her and I could tell she was waiting for us to get a little closer so she could start talking.  I knew this because she already had a huge grin on her face the moment our feet hit the sidewalk that led right to her.  I greeted her with a “Hi” before I could catch myself and was met with “How y’all doin’?” and I said “Fine, how are you?”  and her response was this, “I’m doing just fine.  A might warm though today.  I’ve been sittin’ here under this shade tree hopin’ that it would be whole lot cooler under here, but, I believe it’s just as hot under this tree as it is if I was sittin’ right out there in the sunshine!  Whew, it is too hot today!  Well, y’all have a good day now ok?”

Those kinds of conversations were very typical during our time there. 

At supper one evening there was a young hostess at the local Cracker Barrel who took us to our table that was across the restaurant.  The usual “How Y’all doin’?” came out with a beautiful smile and again I responded with, “Fine and you?”…ok, I wasn’t really good at this game yet!

She turned to respond to me as she walked, “Well, my hip really hurts today, I think there must be rain coming, is it raining out?”

Yes” I said “It just started when we were walking in.”

“I thought so!” she said, again with a big smile, “When it’s rainin’ my hip really hurts, see when I was 13 years old I was thrown from a horse and he stepped on my hip and crushed it, so now every time the weather is rainy it really hurts.  Ya see, I break horses, I love horses and if ya get thrown off, well, ya just got to get back on!”

“So, you grew up on a ranch?”  I asked
“Oh no!  That would have been wonderful!!  It was just a little farm that had a couple of horses, cows and things like that.  Someday I hope I’ll have a ranch of my own, now wouldn’t that  be a dream come true?”

And that conversation took us to our table and then some.

One morning when we were attempting to walk into a restaurant for lunch we were hardly able to get into the building because these 4 women walked out and began talking to us the moment they saw us.

“Mornin’, how y’all doin?” and without really waitng for a reply the one woman kept talking, “We left y’all a little bit of food in there.  Hmmm, that food was mighty good!  You would have enjoyed a meal there! Too bad we didn’t leave any for you!” and with that they all 4 laughed like they had cracked the best joke in the world.  “Y’all enjoy yourselfs now ya hear.  Too bad there’s nothin’ left for you to eat.  Mmm, that was good!”  and all the other women nodded and giggled in agreement as they walked away.

Most of them didn’t need to know you to start a conversation, they just started it.  They wanted to know you and they really wanted you to know them.  People we randomly met in a parking lot, at a gas station, at a rest stop, in a restaurant, store owners, patrons, bikers parked on the side of a viewing area in the mountains, young and old alike they made you feel welcome and even important enough to share a small piece of their life with you.  We were very rarely ignored.  If we asked someone at a gas station where was a good place to eat, everyone in the van would start talking at once.  They gave us exact instructions how to get there, the menu items and even a bit of history on the restaurant.  There were never any pat answers given about anything.  I envied that about them. 

An older gentleman stopped and talked with us for about 10 minutes at a gas station.  He wanted to know about our car, then told us all about his 97 Camry that he bought brand new…in 1997.  He gave us the rundown on everything he had replaced on it, how many miles it had and why he was at the gas station…and no it wasn’t to fuel up.  He found out we were from Canada so we discussed  or rather he told us his opinion on km’s vs miles.  His exact words?

“Phooey on kilometers!!  MILES is the only way to go!”  He stood at the front of the Camaro for the longest time just staring at the license plate and then he’d look at me and nod and smile. 

So many people made us smile and laugh, they made us feel welcome and important, not because they had too but because it was a natural extension of who they are.  One girl we met loved our mid-western accents…really?  The biggest compliment came from a lady who wanted to know what we did for a living so I told her, my husband is a truck driver and that I am a worship director for our church.  She grinned from ear to ear and said, “Ya’ll are just like us here!”  She made us feel like we belonged!  We had only planned to stay for two days but landed up staying for four.  It just felt like home.

Though we were obviously foreigners in their state and in their small city, we were not treated as strangers, but as friends and many times even like family.  In Mount Airy it would appear as though they take Leviticus 19:34 pretty seriously.

 “When a foreigner lives with you in your land, don’t take advantage of him. Treat the foreigner the same as a native. Love him like one of your own.”

And that they did!  Southern hospitality is alive and well in North Carolina.

So, interestingly enough, when we came home I immediately fell back into greeting people with a simple “Hi” or “Hey” and not too much beyond that.  Then a few days later I was driving to an appointment and began thinking again about all the friendly people we had met in North Carolina and I realized how much I missed their way of talking.  I pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car at the same time as another woman.  I didn’t know her and though she seemed rather serious,  I thought, what the heck, so I dove right in, “Hi!” I said with as big a smile as I could muster.  I think I frightened her a bit, but, she responded with quiet “Hi!” 

“How are you doing today?” I continued.

Again, she seemed a bit confused. “Fine and you?”

And I just started talking.  We walked into the building together, let the receptionist know we were there and walked into the waiting area together.  The door closed behind us and normally at this point, since I didn’t know her,  I would have pulled out my phone and busied myself with that, but, instead I kept asking her questions and before I knew it we were both talking a mile a minute until she was called in for her appointment.  She said goodbye with a big smile and walked away.  I smiled back and as the door closed I thought to myself, now that wasn’t so hard was it?  It takes so little to connect with another human being and even though I’m definitely not the shy type, as I have gotten older,  I have found myself offering skimpy responses to people simply because I’m so busy doing or thinking about all the things I need to be doing that I forget to try and know someone beyond hearing them say, “I’m fine!”.  I scolded myself as I sat there and then there was that gentle nudge that I knew was God asking me to start making a more conscious effort to see people!

Now alone in the waiting room I reached down to pull my phone out of my purse when I heard the door open again and I quickly dropped it back inside.

“Hi!” I said to the young woman opening the door and with as big a smile as I could muster I said, “How are you doing?”

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

                                                                                                                                Hebrews 13:2